Friday, September 11, 2009

Brandyn's Blog

This essay is going to have a character from The Contender by Robert Lipstye and a character from A Child Called “It” by Dave Pelzer. Those two characters are going to be Dave Pelzer and Alfred Brooks. This essay takes place after the events in The Contender and in the middle of A Child Called “It”.
It was a bright, sunny beautiful day. Alfred Brooks was running. He had been running all day. He was running because he had the day off from the grocery store and he was training for his upcoming boxing matches. He didn’t quite know where he was but he just kept on running.
Meanwhile, Dave Pelzer had been receiving the awful bathtub and backyard treatment. The treatment consisted of Dave being pit in a freezing bathtub and putting his head underwater for hours (he left a tiny part of his nostrils up so he could breathe and he lifted his head when no one was around) and then he had to either put on his soaking wet clothes or go outside with no clothes at all and sit under a tree in his backyard in the shade. It was awful and it was Dave’s own mother that made him do this. It was an extremely rare occasion because no one was home at his house. His mom and his brothers went out to a movie and then out to dinner. Dave wouldn’t get up and move because he was too scared of what his mother would do if she caught him not there.
Dave heard something and looked. He saw a tall, skinny black kid running down his street. Alfred was running down Dave’s street and Dave caught his eye. Dave turned around and started shivering. Alfred stopped.
“Oh my gosh, what are you doing?” Dave didn’t answer. “Hey kid! Hello? Can you hear me? Hello? Kid?” Dave turned and looked at Alfred. “Hello.”
Alfred said a quick hello and then said “What on earth are you thinking? You could get pneumonia or something. Why would you do this to yourself?”
Dave sat for about two minutes without saying anything and then said “I had to do it.”
“What do you mean you had to do it?”
Dave sat and thought again. He gulped and then said “My mom made me do it.” Dave immediately regretted it and he didn’t know why he said that. What if she found out he told. What if she came home right now? He looked like he was about to faint.
“Your mom made you do this?!” Alfred was shocked, confused and doubtful. “Why don’t you get up and dry off and then get some help.”
“I don’t need any help. I…uh…like doing this. Dave gulped. “I ate dinner and finished my homework and this is my reward. I like watching different people walk by especially ones that are walking dogs and I hate the heat.”
Alfred gave him a doubtful look and said “Okayyyy. Are you sure you’re all right?”
Dave nodded.
“Then why did you lie?”
“I was embarrassed.”
“Oh. Okay then, bye.”
“Bye.” Alfred ran way.
Dave said “phew” but he couldn’t really feel any relief because at that very moment Dave’s mom pulled into the driveway.

2 comments:

  1. I liked the essay.The conversation between Alfred and David was authentic and believable. My favorite part was "“I don’t need any help. I…uh…like doing this. Dave gulped. “I ate dinner and finished my homework and this is my reward. I like watching different people walk by especially ones that are walking dogs and I hate the heat." I liked it because this would be something David would actually say in the book. After reading the essay, I felt it was a clever way to combine the two characters into the essay. Try to use less boring verbs and add more discriptive verbs. Consider using more discription to the characters in future writing assignments.

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  2. 1.The reviewers overall impression is that it taughtthe reviewer a lesson.
    2.The reviewer noticed that the story was written in first person and the vocab the author uses.
    3.The reviewer did pick an interesting passage that talks about the main characters brother.
    4.This book review is descriptive.
    5.I wouldn't consider reading this book because it sounds sad.

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